That one time we got sucked into reality and I cried over first world problems

At the end of ‘This is Us’ there’s this scene that I think about from time to time. *Spoiler Alert* The scene shows Kate’s wedding, full of love, happiness and joy. They show them smiling, dancing, singing. Everything a wedding should be.

Then the scene starts to cut into their future. It’s full of sadness and heartache for each character. The writer showcased how you never know what the future holds. You can have the best of times but suddenly it’s all gone the next day. In a blink of an eye, your life can change. The mundane turns into chaos.

Over the weekend I went to a retreat. We did some goal setting and gratitude exercises. I left feeling full of hope and love for the future. It was funny because at the end of the retreat I thought about that scene. It played in my mind and I wondered how this feeling of being so high could ever be brought down. Rose colored glasses for sure.

Monday morning I woke up with enthusiasm. I got up early to work out (one of my goals). I also took some time to write my big goals/dreams in my journal. Then I went on to slay the day.

I came home mid-day from work (to change my wayyyy toooo see thru blouse [yea I don’t know lol]) to a sight that made me burst into tears.

Some. one. Broke. In. to. Our. House.

This is fake right? Punk’d? Or America’s TV classic ‘What would you do?’ Were they trying to see if the neighbor would stop and help. Were they trying to see if I would go straight in and fight a burglar? This just doesn’t happen on a random Monday. Even bad guys give Mondays, an already horrible day of the week, a break.. right?

So I called my husband. Asking him if I missed something that morning. Maybe the window was already broken? I HAD to have missed it. Seems so silly now.

Soon after the police were called. Documentation taken. Security cams from the neighbors were checked (‘I see you girl’) and above all .. the sense of security was lost.

I am beyond grateful nobody was home. Our kids and my sister/Brother in Law were out. Our puppy is still perfect (but also needs to learn to bark lol) and material things can ALWAYS be replaced.

But on this day, I also lost a sense of security. A sense of living in a safe community. Now with every noise I hear, I jump a little. With every person walking down the street, I give a second look. I wonder if it would be safe to go for walks with my young boys or get the mail after dark. I wonder if you watched me leave the house or if you have plans to come back.

Even walking around our home I wonder what you saw. I wonder if you cared that you took x next to a picture of my son. Or if you stopped to see the photos of our family on the fridge as you stuffed our oldest-littles duffle bag. Did you trip over their toys? Did you see any signs of a real family, who lived in the home? Their safe place. The living room you rummaged through where our nightly dance parties take place. Did you see the tiny soldiers lined up on the floor as you peered into a room of a child?

I wonder even more what position you were in to have to do this. I told my husband that you were trying to make quick money to pay rent to keep a roof over your own babies head. That they needed food or necessities that caused you to be so desperate to take from my family. That you probably have to look at their little faces and do whatever you can to provide for them. I know the feeling as a mom. I know I would do anything for my boys if I had no other choice.

I hope it was more than thrill. At least.. I tell myself it was. I like to believe you needed these things more than my family ever did. I want to believe this was your only option. I like to think you were tearing up as you walked down the street with our stuff in hand knowing you can make it another month.

As i reflect, I recognize this isn’t the end of my world. By no means do I feel I have a bad life because someone took some material positions. I fully understand worse things in life can happen. I understand someone is going through it way harder than me.

I would also be a huge liar if I told you I wasn’t sad. Or that I didn’t cry over these material things. But I am taking it as a lesson. A learning experience. Wisdom my kids will probably ignore when they’re older with homes of their own. Lol.

Moving forward, my husband and I will be taking all precautions we can to make our home as safe for our children as possible. This was just a reminder to get out of lala land and be more aware of the reality and world as it is.

Xoxo

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PS. If you read this, please, please, please send the SIM cards back. Those photos are memories.